I always used to whinge at my mum when I was little and family were coming round. This was because whenever anybody came round I had to clean my room. AARRGGHH! Cleaning is something I had a natural aversion to. Any kind of neatness or organisation and i'm out. Ask my sister. The poor girl had to share a room with me and is the complete opposite, everything she owned was where it should be, whereas I liked to scatter my stuff all over the room, her side my side everwhere, I honestly couldn't see the carpet 90% of the time.
Then when I moved out in 2006, I moved to Chester to work in the YHA. That's where I met Celia, my equally messy best friend. We once had a trail of clothes, books and general charity shop bargains that formed a path between our rooms.
So the reason I am writing this is because this weekend, Celia is coming to visit!! Yippee! However, rather than be content with her seeing my pit of a room, I have turned into my mother, I am going to clean...! What has happened to me? When did this little gene that makes me want to make people believe that I am not a complete tramp kick in?
But anyway, I am super excited to see miss Celia and mr Paul tomorrow, so I will happily (well almost) get on with my cleaning....tomorrow
Thursday 26 February 2009
Wednesday 25 February 2009
Hmmm
I am so tired! Like stupidly so, like I can't keep my eyes open and my brain and body are absolutely frazzled.
I'm not really sure what the problem is, or why I am so knackered... I think I am a little bit bored of the routine, desperate for the summer holidays to kick in and hopefully something magical to happen.
I do realise that this magical thing wont just happen, that I have to make it happen, the problem is I am just not sure what I want it to be. A holiday, some sort of work experience, or just some sort of light at the end of the tunnel?
The thing with uni is that I feel like I should be doing something when i'm not, but when I try to think about what it is that I should be doing, I come up with a BIG FAT NOTHING!!
I tell you one thing that is going to happen over the looooooong summer break from uni (the last one ever, like summer 2010 I have to be a grown up and get a real job. I know that is over a year away, but I have spent the last 23 years avoiding the real world and I have a feeling it is gonna hit me...hard!)... anywho, back to my original train of thought...The Cat Empire are coming back to the UK! Hooray!
They're a fairly cult-ish band over here, I was always under the impression that nobody knew who they were until I went to see them in London and it wasn't a private gig just for me!
They are absolutely 'MAZING!! You can not help but dance to them, and as it is completely impossible to describe what they sound like, have a little looksee for yourself!
I'm not really sure what the problem is, or why I am so knackered... I think I am a little bit bored of the routine, desperate for the summer holidays to kick in and hopefully something magical to happen.
I do realise that this magical thing wont just happen, that I have to make it happen, the problem is I am just not sure what I want it to be. A holiday, some sort of work experience, or just some sort of light at the end of the tunnel?
The thing with uni is that I feel like I should be doing something when i'm not, but when I try to think about what it is that I should be doing, I come up with a BIG FAT NOTHING!!
I tell you one thing that is going to happen over the looooooong summer break from uni (the last one ever, like summer 2010 I have to be a grown up and get a real job. I know that is over a year away, but I have spent the last 23 years avoiding the real world and I have a feeling it is gonna hit me...hard!)... anywho, back to my original train of thought...The Cat Empire are coming back to the UK! Hooray!
They're a fairly cult-ish band over here, I was always under the impression that nobody knew who they were until I went to see them in London and it wasn't a private gig just for me!
They are absolutely 'MAZING!! You can not help but dance to them, and as it is completely impossible to describe what they sound like, have a little looksee for yourself!
The secretive blog addict
Hey world. Well it seems that I have been away for a wee while now (well 5 days anyway), but just because I haven't written anything, doesn't mean I haven't been here.
See the thing is, I am absolutely addicted to blogs! I have to read them everyday, I don't care who's it is, although I do like to see what my friends are up to, but I really do spends hours mooching around the internet, seeing what people are writing about, how they feel about things happening in their lives and things like that.
It is so strange to read about the lives of people you have never met, people are so up front about what they are going through. Like tonight, I read a blog by a woman who is helping her husband on the road to sobriety!
I think I like it so much because it is so personal and refreshing to have people just say what they think, in whatever way they feel.
Well i'm off now, but I will probably read a few more blogs before I leave the internet behind me for the night.
See the thing is, I am absolutely addicted to blogs! I have to read them everyday, I don't care who's it is, although I do like to see what my friends are up to, but I really do spends hours mooching around the internet, seeing what people are writing about, how they feel about things happening in their lives and things like that.
It is so strange to read about the lives of people you have never met, people are so up front about what they are going through. Like tonight, I read a blog by a woman who is helping her husband on the road to sobriety!
I think I like it so much because it is so personal and refreshing to have people just say what they think, in whatever way they feel.
Well i'm off now, but I will probably read a few more blogs before I leave the internet behind me for the night.
Thursday 19 February 2009
On top of the world...and then rock bottom. Life is a rollercoaster!
What did I tell you before, that you can't have it all, and everyday I am learning how true this really is.
So my interview worked out and I got really good feed back, I mean better than anything I have got before, and I am really proud of myself for actually putting everything into it. It has shown me that I am capable and that if I work hard, I will get results.
So that actually made me feel really good about myself. Then the other half of my life kicks in and i'm right back at the bottom of the world. I am sick of being made to feel like shite by the one person who should never make me feel that way. I can deal with things at unoi going badly, I'm still supposed to be learning about that stuff, but actually being criticsed for being myself isn't good. At all.
I need a malibu me thinks...
So my interview worked out and I got really good feed back, I mean better than anything I have got before, and I am really proud of myself for actually putting everything into it. It has shown me that I am capable and that if I work hard, I will get results.
So that actually made me feel really good about myself. Then the other half of my life kicks in and i'm right back at the bottom of the world. I am sick of being made to feel like shite by the one person who should never make me feel that way. I can deal with things at unoi going badly, I'm still supposed to be learning about that stuff, but actually being criticsed for being myself isn't good. At all.
I need a malibu me thinks...
Wednesday 18 February 2009
What's going on in the World?
Right, I don't really like to talk about political things or any big issues due to my somewhat lack of knowledge on a lot of things. This however makes me angry...
"North Dakota's House of Representatives has passed a bill effectively outlawing abortion. The House voted 51-41 this afternoon to declare that a fertilized egg has all the rights of any person. That means a fetus could not be legally aborted without the procedure being considered murder."
Abortion has always been a subject that everybody seems to have an opinion on. There will always be extreme views on it, whether these are pro choice or pro life. However, at least this choice is actually available for many of us. To have the choice taken away and be made illegal is disgusting.
Many claim that in the UK, abortion is used as a quick fix to an unwanted pregnancy and this maybe so, but what about those who aren't making the decision lightly? Why should their rights be taken away from them? Ok so the article I read dealt with one a debate in the USA, but there have been many debates over here to reduce the time allowed to get an abortion, is it likely that eventually we will follow suit?
In many countries where abortions are illegal, women will seek out back street doctors to perform dangerous terminations where as a result they can be left physically damaged or even dead. How is this right?
We are supposed to live in a free world, where we are allowed to make choices. Why is it even an option for these choices to be taken out of our hands? The article that I read may be talking about something that is just a possibility, but I believe that it is wrong for this bill to even be considered.
"North Dakota's House of Representatives has passed a bill effectively outlawing abortion. The House voted 51-41 this afternoon to declare that a fertilized egg has all the rights of any person. That means a fetus could not be legally aborted without the procedure being considered murder."
Abortion has always been a subject that everybody seems to have an opinion on. There will always be extreme views on it, whether these are pro choice or pro life. However, at least this choice is actually available for many of us. To have the choice taken away and be made illegal is disgusting.
Many claim that in the UK, abortion is used as a quick fix to an unwanted pregnancy and this maybe so, but what about those who aren't making the decision lightly? Why should their rights be taken away from them? Ok so the article I read dealt with one a debate in the USA, but there have been many debates over here to reduce the time allowed to get an abortion, is it likely that eventually we will follow suit?
In many countries where abortions are illegal, women will seek out back street doctors to perform dangerous terminations where as a result they can be left physically damaged or even dead. How is this right?
We are supposed to live in a free world, where we are allowed to make choices. Why is it even an option for these choices to be taken out of our hands? The article that I read may be talking about something that is just a possibility, but I believe that it is wrong for this bill to even be considered.
Tuesday 17 February 2009
Sad today
Today I am back in Carlisle after a beautiful weekend at home with Paul and the lil munchkins. For all of you that hate Valentine's Day, yeah it is commercial and whatnot, but I bought into it this year and i'm glad. We all went to the cinema to see "Bolt" which was actually pretty good (I laughed anyway) and then had a meal and a night of chillin out and being together. It was nice to see the kids again and just relax and have fun.
Don't ya love ma vase? It's so pretty! And very me. But anyway, now I am back in Carlisle and feeling that familiar ache of wanting to be back home. That's the thing, I get to go home and hang out with Paul and ma family and then a couple days later, I have to come back up here and be sad. It always takes me a few days to get back into the swing of things up here, settle down and do my work rather than just mope about feeling homesick. But I always do, and everyday is closer to going home for the summer...YAY!! So I just gotta stay positive, do my uni thing and get on with it.
This song fits how I feel perfectly at the moment. And it's a super special song, it's the song that me and my hublet will have our first dance to on our wedding day :-) :-) :-) I love Thirsty Merc!!
Monday 16 February 2009
Thursday 12 February 2009
And so the bubble bursts....
First of all, I apologise to anybody who ever stumbles across this blog on a lazy day of mooching about the internet. I am not intending to put a downer on your day, more to pep mine up. Selfish maybe, but that would be me :-)
So, when you are little and you really want to do something, but your mum wont let you, she is met with cries of "that's not fair!" to which she always responded, "life isn't." I never realised that this was one of life's little lessons, and not just her way of saying no.
At the moment, I just feel like I can never be 100% happy, ya know, you get something sorted in one part of your life, be it professional, relationship, or just what to have for dinner, and then the good ol' balance of life says, "oh no, not today, it can't all be right for you missy!"
It's hard work eh! Now my ideas of a problem are extremely superficial and not at all anything the world needs to worry about, but i just think....aaaarrrggghhhh!!
So, you know when the snow falls and your whole world is beautiful. Sparkling under that blanket of pure white fluffiness, then the snow melts away to that horrible ugly slush, and all the problems that were there before are still there, thats how I feel. It's always 1 step forward, 2 giant steps back!
Like this morning, I was laying in my bed, in the little love shack i share with my hublet, all was good in the world, I was warm and happy. Now, 12hrs later, I feel like absolute shite, not warm or fluffy or even happy. Not in the slightest. My little worlds balance has said "Today, you may have nothing that you want. Try again tomorrow."
Bloody hell, this is a bit of a downer aint it? Sorry. But fear not, I know that somehow, something will go right tomorrow, I will wake up, feel warm and happy and go from there. Fingers crossed...
So, when you are little and you really want to do something, but your mum wont let you, she is met with cries of "that's not fair!" to which she always responded, "life isn't." I never realised that this was one of life's little lessons, and not just her way of saying no.
At the moment, I just feel like I can never be 100% happy, ya know, you get something sorted in one part of your life, be it professional, relationship, or just what to have for dinner, and then the good ol' balance of life says, "oh no, not today, it can't all be right for you missy!"
It's hard work eh! Now my ideas of a problem are extremely superficial and not at all anything the world needs to worry about, but i just think....aaaarrrggghhhh!!
So, you know when the snow falls and your whole world is beautiful. Sparkling under that blanket of pure white fluffiness, then the snow melts away to that horrible ugly slush, and all the problems that were there before are still there, thats how I feel. It's always 1 step forward, 2 giant steps back!
Like this morning, I was laying in my bed, in the little love shack i share with my hublet, all was good in the world, I was warm and happy. Now, 12hrs later, I feel like absolute shite, not warm or fluffy or even happy. Not in the slightest. My little worlds balance has said "Today, you may have nothing that you want. Try again tomorrow."
Bloody hell, this is a bit of a downer aint it? Sorry. But fear not, I know that somehow, something will go right tomorrow, I will wake up, feel warm and happy and go from there. Fingers crossed...
I love him because...
Last night, I travelled the 274 miles back home to suprise my hublet. I had tried to get him not to ring me by telling him I was at the cinema but, nope he didn't believe my feeble excuse for not talking to him and rang anyway. I just didn't answer.
So I finally make it back where I am greeted at the station by my mum. We then take the 30 min drive to hublet's flat and notice the light is on...he was supposed to be at the pub watching football!
The front door is unlocked, so I just start to stroll in where I am greeted by a noise I can only describe as a man bark...Woooof! In the darkness he has mistaken my suprise return for an intruder, and his defence...a bark! hahahahahahahahahaha, my mum actually collapsed on the floor laughing.
But it makes me wonder, if somebody actually did break in, is he just going to bark at them like he did with me? Roll over and get them to tickle his belly? For the entirety of our relationship,I have been under the belief that he would protect me if anything happened, now I think i'll have to fend for myself.
I love him because he's smart, funny and blah blah blah, this isn't a film this is real life. I love him because the big strong man turned into a little scardy cat and made me laugh til my face hurt.
So I finally make it back where I am greeted at the station by my mum. We then take the 30 min drive to hublet's flat and notice the light is on...he was supposed to be at the pub watching football!
The front door is unlocked, so I just start to stroll in where I am greeted by a noise I can only describe as a man bark...Woooof! In the darkness he has mistaken my suprise return for an intruder, and his defence...a bark! hahahahahahahahahaha, my mum actually collapsed on the floor laughing.
But it makes me wonder, if somebody actually did break in, is he just going to bark at them like he did with me? Roll over and get them to tickle his belly? For the entirety of our relationship,I have been under the belief that he would protect me if anything happened, now I think i'll have to fend for myself.
I love him because he's smart, funny and blah blah blah, this isn't a film this is real life. I love him because the big strong man turned into a little scardy cat and made me laugh til my face hurt.
Tuesday 10 February 2009
The light bulb has finally come on...
I woke up this morning, tried to switch on my bedroom light and 'click', it blew. I didn't have enough time to worry about changing it so I just mooched off on my morning wander to uni.
Things all seem to be clicking into place with my course, I really feel like I am actually getting somewhere. Constructive criticsm is being taken as exactly that rather than me believing that I will never be a journalist. I seem to be at a level where I know the basics of what I am doing, but still love learning about everything I don't know.
Maybe this is because I am actually working, even staying after classes to get things done rather than heading straight home to read Perez's latest blog...(sadly I am still addicted to it, as if Hollywood has any effect on my day to day life)!
Anyway, back to my point. I really feel proud of myself for sticking with the course, even though it has taken a good 18 months to get to this point. I still don't feel as if I am working towards any dream job, but that's one of the things I still have to learn about.
So like the light bulb that I have just replaced in my room, my brain is back on whoop whoop!
Monday 9 February 2009
I had a bad feeling about this
You know when you get that funny feeling in your tummy that something isn't quite right, and then you follow that feeling up and the worst is confirmed :-(
I was supposed to be going to London on Thursday to interview somebody for the uni paper, but I just got that feeling that something about it didn't seem quite right. When I got in touch with the person I was supposed to be going to meet, it turns out that they hadn't recieved my last email confirming the interview and they were now too busy....
Hmmm...what to do now? I was really looking forward to doing the interview as I am not the most confident person in the world, and I thought by doing this, I would test myself, just take a deep breath and face the challenge.
But fear not, I will get my interview! There is always a plan b...
I was supposed to be going to London on Thursday to interview somebody for the uni paper, but I just got that feeling that something about it didn't seem quite right. When I got in touch with the person I was supposed to be going to meet, it turns out that they hadn't recieved my last email confirming the interview and they were now too busy....
Hmmm...what to do now? I was really looking forward to doing the interview as I am not the most confident person in the world, and I thought by doing this, I would test myself, just take a deep breath and face the challenge.
But fear not, I will get my interview! There is always a plan b...
Sunday 8 February 2009
eeee scary
Right, this is the first time I have done this blogging malarky so bear with me. I'm not really sure if I am writing this to be one of the cool kids, or just to see how it goes....
I'm not one for sharing my inner most thoughts with the world, so it's a bit weird me even being on here.
But hey, you gotta try these things eh?
I'm not one for sharing my inner most thoughts with the world, so it's a bit weird me even being on here.
But hey, you gotta try these things eh?
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