The last week, many of the articles I have read have been about celebrity weight issues, how those on the larger side of life are setting a bad example to us mere mortals, a contrast to last years blasting of the size zero model and how their size was something we shouldn't aspire to.
The best one, was an article in todays News of the World about Kerry Katona and how the "porky" star had "swelled from a svelte size 8 to a 12-stone size 16." The article goes on to say how Kerry has "ballooned back to her old size."
My main problem with this story is how she is described as porky and ballooning. I am a size 14- 16 but would never consider myself to be porky, I am just not naturally slim, but I don't feel that this makes me hideous or unattractive in anyway. What is wrong with not being a "perfect 10"?
Last year, I was ill and I lost a lot of weight becasue of it, however, this made me look like a skeleton and not at all happy, I don't suit being that thin. Also, websites that tell you your BMI (the latest obsession in weightloss) and tell you your perfect weight vary excessively, with one telling me that in order to achieve a healthy BMI, I needed to lose 3 stone, while another resulted in me only needing to lose half a stone!
I thought the best thing about humans was that we are all different, that if everybody was the same, it would be boring?
So what if some of us have a little bit "extra" weight, it just means there's more of us to love! Being super skinny doesn't mean you're healthy, the same as being a bit bigger doesn't mean you're unfit.
The media needs to stop focussing on our weight and maybe then we would all be a little happier...?
"What makes you different, makes you beautiful!" :-)
Sunday 5 July 2009
Tuesday 16 June 2009
Sunday 14 June 2009
Things I need to think about!
Things have been a little slow lately. I finished my second year over a month ago, and my progression so far has been...none.
So today, i've sat here and had a big ol' think about where the hell I am going. I have done this over and over again during the term, but I never really find the magic answer.
When I started uni, my long term goal was to write guide books, but over the last two years, my lil travel writing soul has been some what squashed. The thing is, it's up to me to get my arse in gear, use what I have learnt, and use the ambition that I had in the beginning (it's in there somewhere) and get things started.
If I feel I need to go on a course that I think will help my writing, sign up and do it! If I need to read other people's writing to learn from it, read it!
That's my biggest problem, I know where I am going wrong, but I don't seem to want to help myself! But hey, i've realised this now,it's time to stop blaming everybody and everything else and make my own opportunities.
I am gonna kick arse in the third year, do the best that I can (and not "take the line of least resistance", Terry).
I am going to stop thinking of uni as something that helps me avoid the real world, keeps me in my bubble and generally keeps me safe.
Happy Days...wish me luck!
So today, i've sat here and had a big ol' think about where the hell I am going. I have done this over and over again during the term, but I never really find the magic answer.
When I started uni, my long term goal was to write guide books, but over the last two years, my lil travel writing soul has been some what squashed. The thing is, it's up to me to get my arse in gear, use what I have learnt, and use the ambition that I had in the beginning (it's in there somewhere) and get things started.
If I feel I need to go on a course that I think will help my writing, sign up and do it! If I need to read other people's writing to learn from it, read it!
That's my biggest problem, I know where I am going wrong, but I don't seem to want to help myself! But hey, i've realised this now,it's time to stop blaming everybody and everything else and make my own opportunities.
I am gonna kick arse in the third year, do the best that I can (and not "take the line of least resistance", Terry).
I am going to stop thinking of uni as something that helps me avoid the real world, keeps me in my bubble and generally keeps me safe.
Happy Days...wish me luck!
Friday 12 June 2009
"He Loves Me" T-Shirt
Finally, I have finished one of the little project i've been yakking on about for months! It hasn't taken me that long to make, it just took me a while to come up with what I wanted to make and all the materials.
So, here it is....
So hopefully you like my little t-shirt. If anybody knows where I can sell this sort of thing, that'd be fab!
So, here it is....
The first pic is a close up of my hard work (embroidery is tiring!)...
Then this is whole t-shirt...
So hopefully you like my little t-shirt. If anybody knows where I can sell this sort of thing, that'd be fab!
Sunday 7 June 2009
Wedding Bells
Yesterday I went to the wedding of one of Paul's best friends, Roy and his lovely lady Maria. Sitting there, watching them take their vows on their tenth anniversary (!!!) I thought, I still think that marriage is one of the most romantic things couples can do.
I know that loads of people think, ah it's just a piece of paper, but I truly believe marriage is a beautiful thing, and on the day, when the wedding comes together, it's magic.
I want a career as a professional wedding guest haha, the romance of it just gets me everytime (cheesy I know, but hey). I'm the one sitting there as the bride and groom pledge to love each other forever, smiling with tears in my eyes at the romance of the whole thing.
And then, at the reception, there's the speeches, where the father gives his blessing, the groom tells us all why he loves his new wife so much (awww) and the best man also praises the happy couple.
And on to the party, woo hoo. After a loooooong day, everybody gets to let their hair down and dance the night away. Hooray.
So hopefully one day, I will get to be a mrs, but for now, i'm enjoying life on the guest list
xx
I know that loads of people think, ah it's just a piece of paper, but I truly believe marriage is a beautiful thing, and on the day, when the wedding comes together, it's magic.
I want a career as a professional wedding guest haha, the romance of it just gets me everytime (cheesy I know, but hey). I'm the one sitting there as the bride and groom pledge to love each other forever, smiling with tears in my eyes at the romance of the whole thing.
And then, at the reception, there's the speeches, where the father gives his blessing, the groom tells us all why he loves his new wife so much (awww) and the best man also praises the happy couple.
And on to the party, woo hoo. After a loooooong day, everybody gets to let their hair down and dance the night away. Hooray.
So hopefully one day, I will get to be a mrs, but for now, i'm enjoying life on the guest list
xx
Tuesday 2 June 2009
Isn't music magic...?
Next time you're in a really bad mood or upset or just a bit sad, don't listen to music that you think you can identify with at that point in time..."oh he's singing my life, i'm so sad blah blah blah."
Find something that makes you wanna dance, or makes you smile, or just look at something from a different, more positive angle. What's the point in making yourself feel worse? Turn that smile upside down! :-)
Todays happy song is brought to you mr John Butler and his band of merry men, it made me smile anyway.
And while i'm on the subject of music, here's another song that makes me wanna dance...
I need to learn the words to this funky lil tune as I am doing a Stars in Their Eyes charity thing down the pub in a couple of weeks and this is what i'm gunna sing! Loves it!
Happy days xx
Find something that makes you wanna dance, or makes you smile, or just look at something from a different, more positive angle. What's the point in making yourself feel worse? Turn that smile upside down! :-)
Todays happy song is brought to you mr John Butler and his band of merry men, it made me smile anyway.
And while i'm on the subject of music, here's another song that makes me wanna dance...
I need to learn the words to this funky lil tune as I am doing a Stars in Their Eyes charity thing down the pub in a couple of weeks and this is what i'm gunna sing! Loves it!
Happy days xx
Monday 1 June 2009
The sun strikes again
So, the sun is here, people are flocking to the beaches, the air smells of BBQ's and everybody is generally in a happier mood. Not for me.
Oh no, i have locked myself away, occasionally peering through the windows to see if the word is still bright outside.
This is because yesterday, walking around a car boot sale, trying to find more junk to add to my own ever growing collection of junk, I was fried by the sun. One hour of wandering around a field caused my skin to turn a beautiful shade of red.
And it is sooooooo painful! Everytime I move, pain shoots through my left shoulder or across my back (where there is a very beautiful white cross now, from the straps of my dress). It is my own fault really for not wearing any sun cream, but I wasn't aware that my skin was one shade up from albino!
So while the rest of you enjoy the heat, remember me hiding away in my little house waiting for the rain to return.
Oh no, i have locked myself away, occasionally peering through the windows to see if the word is still bright outside.
This is because yesterday, walking around a car boot sale, trying to find more junk to add to my own ever growing collection of junk, I was fried by the sun. One hour of wandering around a field caused my skin to turn a beautiful shade of red.
And it is sooooooo painful! Everytime I move, pain shoots through my left shoulder or across my back (where there is a very beautiful white cross now, from the straps of my dress). It is my own fault really for not wearing any sun cream, but I wasn't aware that my skin was one shade up from albino!
So while the rest of you enjoy the heat, remember me hiding away in my little house waiting for the rain to return.
Tuesday 12 May 2009
Ha Ha
Holly: What's change 4 Life?
Dad: It's a shop where they give you a load of coins
My dad makes me laugh
Dad: It's a shop where they give you a load of coins
My dad makes me laugh
Wednesday 29 April 2009
La La La La La
I was just watching this video on youtube...obviously...and it just made me wish that I could play the piano.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWq-pXODgjM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWq-pXODgjM
Saturday 18 April 2009
Power walking
Back in the day, I hated walking. I wouldn't have walked anywhere I didnt have to if you'd have paid me. Now I have had a change of heart and i've actually decided I love a good walk. Not the long hills and mountains stuff, that I still hate, but just a stroll around my little world.
I think it all started when I started going out with Paul. Every night (back when I was under the impression he was a gentleman) he would walk me home, and it was the best way to get to know him. A little 20 minute wander from his house to mine, yabbering about the day, what he liked, what I liked and just learning about each other. We would walk down a little alley way that he called snail alley (because of the massive number of snails that he would manage to trample on, I never did somehow).
Then when we ran away to Benidorm for a week, we used to walk along the beach hand in hand, all very romantic don't ya think, and just talk for hours and hours. That holiday was probably the best one I have ever been on, just because of the crazy amount of walking and getting to know eachother that we did.
The first night we got there at about midnight, we decided to go and check out what Benidorm had to offer, strolled down to the beach and through the town. Four hours later, we couldn't remember the name of our hotel or where the hell it was and just wandered around laughing so hard.
Tonight I went for a walk by myself. I had to get out of the house, just because I was so angry and frustrated...and needed a smoke. Anyhoo, when I left the house, like I said I was just aaaaaaaarrrrggggggggghhhhh, but by the time I had returned from my mosey to tesco's I felt so much better, my head was clearer, I just felt relaxed...magic.
It's the simple things like that that make me happy.
I think it all started when I started going out with Paul. Every night (back when I was under the impression he was a gentleman) he would walk me home, and it was the best way to get to know him. A little 20 minute wander from his house to mine, yabbering about the day, what he liked, what I liked and just learning about each other. We would walk down a little alley way that he called snail alley (because of the massive number of snails that he would manage to trample on, I never did somehow).
Then when we ran away to Benidorm for a week, we used to walk along the beach hand in hand, all very romantic don't ya think, and just talk for hours and hours. That holiday was probably the best one I have ever been on, just because of the crazy amount of walking and getting to know eachother that we did.
The first night we got there at about midnight, we decided to go and check out what Benidorm had to offer, strolled down to the beach and through the town. Four hours later, we couldn't remember the name of our hotel or where the hell it was and just wandered around laughing so hard.
Tonight I went for a walk by myself. I had to get out of the house, just because I was so angry and frustrated...and needed a smoke. Anyhoo, when I left the house, like I said I was just aaaaaaaarrrrggggggggghhhhh, but by the time I had returned from my mosey to tesco's I felt so much better, my head was clearer, I just felt relaxed...magic.
It's the simple things like that that make me happy.
Monday 30 March 2009
Lauren the Ice Queen
Hello World.
Well, today I was all ready to right a big ol' rant about how my life seems to be falling into a big black hole and how unhappy I was that my life was no longer a rainbow, boo hoo.
Then 12 o'clock struck and kazam! The black cloud has lifted and all is good in the world again. I really am not a morning person. Every morning on the wander to uni, poor Conny tries her hardest to squeeze some little bit of conversation out of me and is met with an encouraging...meh. Poor girl. A beautiful display of my ice queen personality.
But now it is the afternoon and I am following the rainbow again, hooray. Another reason for this is I was just watching tv and the ice skating was on. It looks really fun, I can see myself flying round the rink with the grace and finesse that is required...not. I am as elegant as a chicken trying to fly. But I do know that ice skating is fun. I spent many a sunday when I was little pootling around the ice in Milton Keynes, watching my brother in his daredevil way attempt to race everybody, while my mum just clung on to the edge for dear life.
And now I have decided that while I am at home, I will take Paul ice skating. We will be the new Torvil and Dean and take the world by storm. Our routine I think, will mainly involve the perfected art of trying to stand up on a slippery surface. We will call that move the Bambi. And it will be beautiful. I'm looking forward to it.
Well, today I was all ready to right a big ol' rant about how my life seems to be falling into a big black hole and how unhappy I was that my life was no longer a rainbow, boo hoo.
Then 12 o'clock struck and kazam! The black cloud has lifted and all is good in the world again. I really am not a morning person. Every morning on the wander to uni, poor Conny tries her hardest to squeeze some little bit of conversation out of me and is met with an encouraging...meh. Poor girl. A beautiful display of my ice queen personality.
But now it is the afternoon and I am following the rainbow again, hooray. Another reason for this is I was just watching tv and the ice skating was on. It looks really fun, I can see myself flying round the rink with the grace and finesse that is required...not. I am as elegant as a chicken trying to fly. But I do know that ice skating is fun. I spent many a sunday when I was little pootling around the ice in Milton Keynes, watching my brother in his daredevil way attempt to race everybody, while my mum just clung on to the edge for dear life.
And now I have decided that while I am at home, I will take Paul ice skating. We will be the new Torvil and Dean and take the world by storm. Our routine I think, will mainly involve the perfected art of trying to stand up on a slippery surface. We will call that move the Bambi. And it will be beautiful. I'm looking forward to it.
Thursday 26 March 2009
Glasgow and it's secrets
Ok, so to many finding a park in a city isn't a secret, but when i went to Glasgow yesterday, I was quite suprised to discover the beautiful side of it.
I have been to Glasgow a total of three times with the two previous trips just being an excuse to discover the beauty that is Primark. However, this time, on a course visit, we took a stroll through the park to the Kelvingrove and I saw a completely different side to Glasgow.
It was so beautiful away from the busy city centre. There were trees covered in blossom, daffodils growing by the side of the river and fluffy white clouds in the sky. Magic. Living in Carlisle, I have to walk through the park everday to get to uni, but this is nothing compared to what I saw yesterday. It was just so cool to see this part of Glasgow. And me and Conny even watched a guy attempt to type rope walk between two trees. Bizarre, but cool and completely out of the ordinary.
I have been to Glasgow a total of three times with the two previous trips just being an excuse to discover the beauty that is Primark. However, this time, on a course visit, we took a stroll through the park to the Kelvingrove and I saw a completely different side to Glasgow.
It was so beautiful away from the busy city centre. There were trees covered in blossom, daffodils growing by the side of the river and fluffy white clouds in the sky. Magic. Living in Carlisle, I have to walk through the park everday to get to uni, but this is nothing compared to what I saw yesterday. It was just so cool to see this part of Glasgow. And me and Conny even watched a guy attempt to type rope walk between two trees. Bizarre, but cool and completely out of the ordinary.
Strike me down with some inspiration please.
I am sitting here looking at the funky blogs i'm following, all the wicked things that they design and thinking...I WANNA MAKE SOMETHING!!
This journalism malarky is all swings and roundabouts. Do I wanna do it? What do I wanna do if not? Can I do that and have alittle side project of making things, spend some serious time over the summer using the creative side of my brain and making some funky things.
I get so jealous of the people who do it full time. I can do little bits and pieces then my brain stops working in that way and....I give up for a couple of months. But I want to learn about how to make different things, experiment a bit and just have some fun with it.
This journalism malarky is all swings and roundabouts. Do I wanna do it? What do I wanna do if not? Can I do that and have alittle side project of making things, spend some serious time over the summer using the creative side of my brain and making some funky things.
I get so jealous of the people who do it full time. I can do little bits and pieces then my brain stops working in that way and....I give up for a couple of months. But I want to learn about how to make different things, experiment a bit and just have some fun with it.
Thursday 19 March 2009
Cheers
I have nothing to write really so I just thought I'd show you a picture of my nan...so cheers!
Monday 16 March 2009
It just gets better!
So after many ups and downs on this course, today I had some fabulous news. Oh yes people, I am wasting my time with this stupid degree. Just two months away from finishing my second year, I was told that in order to get a job (on a local paper at least) I would have to do a post grad degree in journalism! Oh yes kids thats right, my travel journalism degree is effectively useless!
Can anybody explain to me what the hell I am doing this degree for? Why is it that by the end of the three years I will have a debt of at least £21,000 and, well a mickey mouse degree to show for it!
Everybody at uni is fed up at the minute, but other than my being completely disheartened now, i'm sure we'll all be fine. We all need a good ol' night out!!
Bring on the party!
Can anybody explain to me what the hell I am doing this degree for? Why is it that by the end of the three years I will have a debt of at least £21,000 and, well a mickey mouse degree to show for it!
Everybody at uni is fed up at the minute, but other than my being completely disheartened now, i'm sure we'll all be fine. We all need a good ol' night out!!
Bring on the party!
Wednesday 11 March 2009
I'm a little bit lost
For the last couple of days i've felt like everything to do with uni is swimming around me while I just sit in the middle and watch it quite content.
However, today I had a loooooong coffee with my friends and a chat about the direction all our lives are taking. the thing that I have realised is that I really don't know where mine is going, and for the first time in 5 years this actually makes me a bit sad.
The thing that I have realised is that the complete disappointment I feel about my course has made me wonder if journalism is really what I want to do. Was it ever something I wanted to do? Travel Journalism is laid dead in the water as the course does not help to lead me down this path, and I am not learning the skills that I need to persue such a career. So as far as I am concerned, that is one less option for me.
Like I said before, I love to customise my clothes, make little brooches or clips and just make little things. That is something I am really passionate about, but I don't think that I would like to do it as a job because I love it so much and I don't want to get bored with it. I'd like to do it as a little side project.
I think that there is so much going on with the course, and it's all that I do, go to uni, come home do my work, go to sleep and start again. I'M BORED. But I don't know what other options I have at the moment. I don't want to give up on this, start something new and in 18 months think oh, i don't like this either.
I am counting down the weeks until uni finishes for 5 months and I can sit at home making lots of things to sell on the internet and build my fashion empire :-). Surely that can't be a good thing? Or maybe I'm just looking forward to the break...? Aarrgghh I really don't have a clue.
The best way for me to describe it is, you know when you want to get fit, you go to the gym, work out and tada, you're better. I feel like I need some sort of career gym, to get fit, exercise my brain and feel better!
What can I do? Does anybody have any ideas?
However, today I had a loooooong coffee with my friends and a chat about the direction all our lives are taking. the thing that I have realised is that I really don't know where mine is going, and for the first time in 5 years this actually makes me a bit sad.
The thing that I have realised is that the complete disappointment I feel about my course has made me wonder if journalism is really what I want to do. Was it ever something I wanted to do? Travel Journalism is laid dead in the water as the course does not help to lead me down this path, and I am not learning the skills that I need to persue such a career. So as far as I am concerned, that is one less option for me.
Like I said before, I love to customise my clothes, make little brooches or clips and just make little things. That is something I am really passionate about, but I don't think that I would like to do it as a job because I love it so much and I don't want to get bored with it. I'd like to do it as a little side project.
I think that there is so much going on with the course, and it's all that I do, go to uni, come home do my work, go to sleep and start again. I'M BORED. But I don't know what other options I have at the moment. I don't want to give up on this, start something new and in 18 months think oh, i don't like this either.
I am counting down the weeks until uni finishes for 5 months and I can sit at home making lots of things to sell on the internet and build my fashion empire :-). Surely that can't be a good thing? Or maybe I'm just looking forward to the break...? Aarrgghh I really don't have a clue.
The best way for me to describe it is, you know when you want to get fit, you go to the gym, work out and tada, you're better. I feel like I need some sort of career gym, to get fit, exercise my brain and feel better!
What can I do? Does anybody have any ideas?
TV Addict
I love TV. Like really love it, a stupid amount, cant imagine my life without it. I know, it's pathetic.
I spend way too much time watching all the soaps, reality shows and all the other crap on it. But every once in a while, I stumble across something that I actually learn something from.
Tonight, it is Deborah, 13, Servant of God. A programme about a 13 year old girl who lives a completely different existance to most. At the beginning of the show, the woman making the documentary showed her a copy of Heat magazine and asked her if she knew any of the people in it. As far as she was concerned, Victoria Beckham was just somebody who was married to Mr Beckham. I thought that was pretty interesting, I wish sometimes I didn't care who Perez was blogging about that minute. I did try to give it up once, but much like the cigarettes, I got sucked back in.
The big difference between me and Deborah is that she is deeply religious. I on the other hand know nothing about religion, and am not particularly interested in living my life that way either. But I do love to watch the programmes about people who live their lives in an extremely religious way. I love to see the things they believe, and how different their lives are to mine. I really like learning about how they believe all the stuff that I just find...unbelievable.
Like watching sermons before bed ( I prefer a good romantic comedy), or going to a shopping centre for the first time...ever!! Or that the world is going to melt??? I didn't quite get that bit.
Something else I don't quite understand is she keeps saying that we should all confess our sins to God as we could be hit by a car if we are outside....ever. And if this was to happen, we'd go straight to hell. But is this really what you want to hear at a party? Should people really force their views on you?
I don't know, she seems happy with her life, the same as I am with mine. It might be completely different, but it takes all sorts.
I spend way too much time watching all the soaps, reality shows and all the other crap on it. But every once in a while, I stumble across something that I actually learn something from.
Tonight, it is Deborah, 13, Servant of God. A programme about a 13 year old girl who lives a completely different existance to most. At the beginning of the show, the woman making the documentary showed her a copy of Heat magazine and asked her if she knew any of the people in it. As far as she was concerned, Victoria Beckham was just somebody who was married to Mr Beckham. I thought that was pretty interesting, I wish sometimes I didn't care who Perez was blogging about that minute. I did try to give it up once, but much like the cigarettes, I got sucked back in.
The big difference between me and Deborah is that she is deeply religious. I on the other hand know nothing about religion, and am not particularly interested in living my life that way either. But I do love to watch the programmes about people who live their lives in an extremely religious way. I love to see the things they believe, and how different their lives are to mine. I really like learning about how they believe all the stuff that I just find...unbelievable.
Like watching sermons before bed ( I prefer a good romantic comedy), or going to a shopping centre for the first time...ever!! Or that the world is going to melt??? I didn't quite get that bit.
Something else I don't quite understand is she keeps saying that we should all confess our sins to God as we could be hit by a car if we are outside....ever. And if this was to happen, we'd go straight to hell. But is this really what you want to hear at a party? Should people really force their views on you?
I don't know, she seems happy with her life, the same as I am with mine. It might be completely different, but it takes all sorts.
Thursday 5 March 2009
Is she taking the piss?
Right, so i'm sitting here watching ten years younger, a programme i've never been in love with, all that surgery aint for me.
Anyway, the new host is Mylene Klass, the woman who about 6 months ago was championing natural beauty!! EH?? What the bloody hell is that about? Can you only be a natural beauty until a certain age, and then, fuck it bring on the knife?
I don't understand. If you want surgery, fair enough, but the big problem is Madame Klass, and her hypocritical attitude. Damn her and her lies!
Anyway, rant over. I'm not that angry really :-)
Anyway, the new host is Mylene Klass, the woman who about 6 months ago was championing natural beauty!! EH?? What the bloody hell is that about? Can you only be a natural beauty until a certain age, and then, fuck it bring on the knife?
I don't understand. If you want surgery, fair enough, but the big problem is Madame Klass, and her hypocritical attitude. Damn her and her lies!
Anyway, rant over. I'm not that angry really :-)
Monday 2 March 2009
I loves me some modification
So, when i'm not at uni slaving away over what I see as annoying assignments, I like to decorate my clothes. I love it when I can do something that takes 30 minutes to a top or some shoes a little bit different to what everybody else is wearing.I don't really know how to make things from scratch yet, but one day I will. At the minute, I can make a flower from felt or embroider til my hearts content. There's just something about it that makes me happy, just adding a bit of colour or sparkle to an outfit.
So over the summer, while all of my course mates are putting in the hours doing work experience relevant to the long term goal of being a journalist, I will be found in a corner somewhere with a bit of felt and a second hand top, working my magic to make it unique.
Here are a couple of things I have jazzed up a bit....hope you like!
Thursday 26 February 2009
Cleaning
I always used to whinge at my mum when I was little and family were coming round. This was because whenever anybody came round I had to clean my room. AARRGGHH! Cleaning is something I had a natural aversion to. Any kind of neatness or organisation and i'm out. Ask my sister. The poor girl had to share a room with me and is the complete opposite, everything she owned was where it should be, whereas I liked to scatter my stuff all over the room, her side my side everwhere, I honestly couldn't see the carpet 90% of the time.
Then when I moved out in 2006, I moved to Chester to work in the YHA. That's where I met Celia, my equally messy best friend. We once had a trail of clothes, books and general charity shop bargains that formed a path between our rooms.
So the reason I am writing this is because this weekend, Celia is coming to visit!! Yippee! However, rather than be content with her seeing my pit of a room, I have turned into my mother, I am going to clean...! What has happened to me? When did this little gene that makes me want to make people believe that I am not a complete tramp kick in?
But anyway, I am super excited to see miss Celia and mr Paul tomorrow, so I will happily (well almost) get on with my cleaning....tomorrow
Then when I moved out in 2006, I moved to Chester to work in the YHA. That's where I met Celia, my equally messy best friend. We once had a trail of clothes, books and general charity shop bargains that formed a path between our rooms.
So the reason I am writing this is because this weekend, Celia is coming to visit!! Yippee! However, rather than be content with her seeing my pit of a room, I have turned into my mother, I am going to clean...! What has happened to me? When did this little gene that makes me want to make people believe that I am not a complete tramp kick in?
But anyway, I am super excited to see miss Celia and mr Paul tomorrow, so I will happily (well almost) get on with my cleaning....tomorrow
Wednesday 25 February 2009
Hmmm
I am so tired! Like stupidly so, like I can't keep my eyes open and my brain and body are absolutely frazzled.
I'm not really sure what the problem is, or why I am so knackered... I think I am a little bit bored of the routine, desperate for the summer holidays to kick in and hopefully something magical to happen.
I do realise that this magical thing wont just happen, that I have to make it happen, the problem is I am just not sure what I want it to be. A holiday, some sort of work experience, or just some sort of light at the end of the tunnel?
The thing with uni is that I feel like I should be doing something when i'm not, but when I try to think about what it is that I should be doing, I come up with a BIG FAT NOTHING!!
I tell you one thing that is going to happen over the looooooong summer break from uni (the last one ever, like summer 2010 I have to be a grown up and get a real job. I know that is over a year away, but I have spent the last 23 years avoiding the real world and I have a feeling it is gonna hit me...hard!)... anywho, back to my original train of thought...The Cat Empire are coming back to the UK! Hooray!
They're a fairly cult-ish band over here, I was always under the impression that nobody knew who they were until I went to see them in London and it wasn't a private gig just for me!
They are absolutely 'MAZING!! You can not help but dance to them, and as it is completely impossible to describe what they sound like, have a little looksee for yourself!
I'm not really sure what the problem is, or why I am so knackered... I think I am a little bit bored of the routine, desperate for the summer holidays to kick in and hopefully something magical to happen.
I do realise that this magical thing wont just happen, that I have to make it happen, the problem is I am just not sure what I want it to be. A holiday, some sort of work experience, or just some sort of light at the end of the tunnel?
The thing with uni is that I feel like I should be doing something when i'm not, but when I try to think about what it is that I should be doing, I come up with a BIG FAT NOTHING!!
I tell you one thing that is going to happen over the looooooong summer break from uni (the last one ever, like summer 2010 I have to be a grown up and get a real job. I know that is over a year away, but I have spent the last 23 years avoiding the real world and I have a feeling it is gonna hit me...hard!)... anywho, back to my original train of thought...The Cat Empire are coming back to the UK! Hooray!
They're a fairly cult-ish band over here, I was always under the impression that nobody knew who they were until I went to see them in London and it wasn't a private gig just for me!
They are absolutely 'MAZING!! You can not help but dance to them, and as it is completely impossible to describe what they sound like, have a little looksee for yourself!
The secretive blog addict
Hey world. Well it seems that I have been away for a wee while now (well 5 days anyway), but just because I haven't written anything, doesn't mean I haven't been here.
See the thing is, I am absolutely addicted to blogs! I have to read them everyday, I don't care who's it is, although I do like to see what my friends are up to, but I really do spends hours mooching around the internet, seeing what people are writing about, how they feel about things happening in their lives and things like that.
It is so strange to read about the lives of people you have never met, people are so up front about what they are going through. Like tonight, I read a blog by a woman who is helping her husband on the road to sobriety!
I think I like it so much because it is so personal and refreshing to have people just say what they think, in whatever way they feel.
Well i'm off now, but I will probably read a few more blogs before I leave the internet behind me for the night.
See the thing is, I am absolutely addicted to blogs! I have to read them everyday, I don't care who's it is, although I do like to see what my friends are up to, but I really do spends hours mooching around the internet, seeing what people are writing about, how they feel about things happening in their lives and things like that.
It is so strange to read about the lives of people you have never met, people are so up front about what they are going through. Like tonight, I read a blog by a woman who is helping her husband on the road to sobriety!
I think I like it so much because it is so personal and refreshing to have people just say what they think, in whatever way they feel.
Well i'm off now, but I will probably read a few more blogs before I leave the internet behind me for the night.
Thursday 19 February 2009
On top of the world...and then rock bottom. Life is a rollercoaster!
What did I tell you before, that you can't have it all, and everyday I am learning how true this really is.
So my interview worked out and I got really good feed back, I mean better than anything I have got before, and I am really proud of myself for actually putting everything into it. It has shown me that I am capable and that if I work hard, I will get results.
So that actually made me feel really good about myself. Then the other half of my life kicks in and i'm right back at the bottom of the world. I am sick of being made to feel like shite by the one person who should never make me feel that way. I can deal with things at unoi going badly, I'm still supposed to be learning about that stuff, but actually being criticsed for being myself isn't good. At all.
I need a malibu me thinks...
So my interview worked out and I got really good feed back, I mean better than anything I have got before, and I am really proud of myself for actually putting everything into it. It has shown me that I am capable and that if I work hard, I will get results.
So that actually made me feel really good about myself. Then the other half of my life kicks in and i'm right back at the bottom of the world. I am sick of being made to feel like shite by the one person who should never make me feel that way. I can deal with things at unoi going badly, I'm still supposed to be learning about that stuff, but actually being criticsed for being myself isn't good. At all.
I need a malibu me thinks...
Wednesday 18 February 2009
What's going on in the World?
Right, I don't really like to talk about political things or any big issues due to my somewhat lack of knowledge on a lot of things. This however makes me angry...
"North Dakota's House of Representatives has passed a bill effectively outlawing abortion. The House voted 51-41 this afternoon to declare that a fertilized egg has all the rights of any person. That means a fetus could not be legally aborted without the procedure being considered murder."
Abortion has always been a subject that everybody seems to have an opinion on. There will always be extreme views on it, whether these are pro choice or pro life. However, at least this choice is actually available for many of us. To have the choice taken away and be made illegal is disgusting.
Many claim that in the UK, abortion is used as a quick fix to an unwanted pregnancy and this maybe so, but what about those who aren't making the decision lightly? Why should their rights be taken away from them? Ok so the article I read dealt with one a debate in the USA, but there have been many debates over here to reduce the time allowed to get an abortion, is it likely that eventually we will follow suit?
In many countries where abortions are illegal, women will seek out back street doctors to perform dangerous terminations where as a result they can be left physically damaged or even dead. How is this right?
We are supposed to live in a free world, where we are allowed to make choices. Why is it even an option for these choices to be taken out of our hands? The article that I read may be talking about something that is just a possibility, but I believe that it is wrong for this bill to even be considered.
"North Dakota's House of Representatives has passed a bill effectively outlawing abortion. The House voted 51-41 this afternoon to declare that a fertilized egg has all the rights of any person. That means a fetus could not be legally aborted without the procedure being considered murder."
Abortion has always been a subject that everybody seems to have an opinion on. There will always be extreme views on it, whether these are pro choice or pro life. However, at least this choice is actually available for many of us. To have the choice taken away and be made illegal is disgusting.
Many claim that in the UK, abortion is used as a quick fix to an unwanted pregnancy and this maybe so, but what about those who aren't making the decision lightly? Why should their rights be taken away from them? Ok so the article I read dealt with one a debate in the USA, but there have been many debates over here to reduce the time allowed to get an abortion, is it likely that eventually we will follow suit?
In many countries where abortions are illegal, women will seek out back street doctors to perform dangerous terminations where as a result they can be left physically damaged or even dead. How is this right?
We are supposed to live in a free world, where we are allowed to make choices. Why is it even an option for these choices to be taken out of our hands? The article that I read may be talking about something that is just a possibility, but I believe that it is wrong for this bill to even be considered.
Tuesday 17 February 2009
Sad today
Today I am back in Carlisle after a beautiful weekend at home with Paul and the lil munchkins. For all of you that hate Valentine's Day, yeah it is commercial and whatnot, but I bought into it this year and i'm glad. We all went to the cinema to see "Bolt" which was actually pretty good (I laughed anyway) and then had a meal and a night of chillin out and being together. It was nice to see the kids again and just relax and have fun.
Don't ya love ma vase? It's so pretty! And very me. But anyway, now I am back in Carlisle and feeling that familiar ache of wanting to be back home. That's the thing, I get to go home and hang out with Paul and ma family and then a couple days later, I have to come back up here and be sad. It always takes me a few days to get back into the swing of things up here, settle down and do my work rather than just mope about feeling homesick. But I always do, and everyday is closer to going home for the summer...YAY!! So I just gotta stay positive, do my uni thing and get on with it.
This song fits how I feel perfectly at the moment. And it's a super special song, it's the song that me and my hublet will have our first dance to on our wedding day :-) :-) :-) I love Thirsty Merc!!
Monday 16 February 2009
Thursday 12 February 2009
And so the bubble bursts....
First of all, I apologise to anybody who ever stumbles across this blog on a lazy day of mooching about the internet. I am not intending to put a downer on your day, more to pep mine up. Selfish maybe, but that would be me :-)
So, when you are little and you really want to do something, but your mum wont let you, she is met with cries of "that's not fair!" to which she always responded, "life isn't." I never realised that this was one of life's little lessons, and not just her way of saying no.
At the moment, I just feel like I can never be 100% happy, ya know, you get something sorted in one part of your life, be it professional, relationship, or just what to have for dinner, and then the good ol' balance of life says, "oh no, not today, it can't all be right for you missy!"
It's hard work eh! Now my ideas of a problem are extremely superficial and not at all anything the world needs to worry about, but i just think....aaaarrrggghhhh!!
So, you know when the snow falls and your whole world is beautiful. Sparkling under that blanket of pure white fluffiness, then the snow melts away to that horrible ugly slush, and all the problems that were there before are still there, thats how I feel. It's always 1 step forward, 2 giant steps back!
Like this morning, I was laying in my bed, in the little love shack i share with my hublet, all was good in the world, I was warm and happy. Now, 12hrs later, I feel like absolute shite, not warm or fluffy or even happy. Not in the slightest. My little worlds balance has said "Today, you may have nothing that you want. Try again tomorrow."
Bloody hell, this is a bit of a downer aint it? Sorry. But fear not, I know that somehow, something will go right tomorrow, I will wake up, feel warm and happy and go from there. Fingers crossed...
So, when you are little and you really want to do something, but your mum wont let you, she is met with cries of "that's not fair!" to which she always responded, "life isn't." I never realised that this was one of life's little lessons, and not just her way of saying no.
At the moment, I just feel like I can never be 100% happy, ya know, you get something sorted in one part of your life, be it professional, relationship, or just what to have for dinner, and then the good ol' balance of life says, "oh no, not today, it can't all be right for you missy!"
It's hard work eh! Now my ideas of a problem are extremely superficial and not at all anything the world needs to worry about, but i just think....aaaarrrggghhhh!!
So, you know when the snow falls and your whole world is beautiful. Sparkling under that blanket of pure white fluffiness, then the snow melts away to that horrible ugly slush, and all the problems that were there before are still there, thats how I feel. It's always 1 step forward, 2 giant steps back!
Like this morning, I was laying in my bed, in the little love shack i share with my hublet, all was good in the world, I was warm and happy. Now, 12hrs later, I feel like absolute shite, not warm or fluffy or even happy. Not in the slightest. My little worlds balance has said "Today, you may have nothing that you want. Try again tomorrow."
Bloody hell, this is a bit of a downer aint it? Sorry. But fear not, I know that somehow, something will go right tomorrow, I will wake up, feel warm and happy and go from there. Fingers crossed...
I love him because...
Last night, I travelled the 274 miles back home to suprise my hublet. I had tried to get him not to ring me by telling him I was at the cinema but, nope he didn't believe my feeble excuse for not talking to him and rang anyway. I just didn't answer.
So I finally make it back where I am greeted at the station by my mum. We then take the 30 min drive to hublet's flat and notice the light is on...he was supposed to be at the pub watching football!
The front door is unlocked, so I just start to stroll in where I am greeted by a noise I can only describe as a man bark...Woooof! In the darkness he has mistaken my suprise return for an intruder, and his defence...a bark! hahahahahahahahahaha, my mum actually collapsed on the floor laughing.
But it makes me wonder, if somebody actually did break in, is he just going to bark at them like he did with me? Roll over and get them to tickle his belly? For the entirety of our relationship,I have been under the belief that he would protect me if anything happened, now I think i'll have to fend for myself.
I love him because he's smart, funny and blah blah blah, this isn't a film this is real life. I love him because the big strong man turned into a little scardy cat and made me laugh til my face hurt.
So I finally make it back where I am greeted at the station by my mum. We then take the 30 min drive to hublet's flat and notice the light is on...he was supposed to be at the pub watching football!
The front door is unlocked, so I just start to stroll in where I am greeted by a noise I can only describe as a man bark...Woooof! In the darkness he has mistaken my suprise return for an intruder, and his defence...a bark! hahahahahahahahahaha, my mum actually collapsed on the floor laughing.
But it makes me wonder, if somebody actually did break in, is he just going to bark at them like he did with me? Roll over and get them to tickle his belly? For the entirety of our relationship,I have been under the belief that he would protect me if anything happened, now I think i'll have to fend for myself.
I love him because he's smart, funny and blah blah blah, this isn't a film this is real life. I love him because the big strong man turned into a little scardy cat and made me laugh til my face hurt.
Tuesday 10 February 2009
The light bulb has finally come on...
I woke up this morning, tried to switch on my bedroom light and 'click', it blew. I didn't have enough time to worry about changing it so I just mooched off on my morning wander to uni.
Things all seem to be clicking into place with my course, I really feel like I am actually getting somewhere. Constructive criticsm is being taken as exactly that rather than me believing that I will never be a journalist. I seem to be at a level where I know the basics of what I am doing, but still love learning about everything I don't know.
Maybe this is because I am actually working, even staying after classes to get things done rather than heading straight home to read Perez's latest blog...(sadly I am still addicted to it, as if Hollywood has any effect on my day to day life)!
Anyway, back to my point. I really feel proud of myself for sticking with the course, even though it has taken a good 18 months to get to this point. I still don't feel as if I am working towards any dream job, but that's one of the things I still have to learn about.
So like the light bulb that I have just replaced in my room, my brain is back on whoop whoop!
Monday 9 February 2009
I had a bad feeling about this
You know when you get that funny feeling in your tummy that something isn't quite right, and then you follow that feeling up and the worst is confirmed :-(
I was supposed to be going to London on Thursday to interview somebody for the uni paper, but I just got that feeling that something about it didn't seem quite right. When I got in touch with the person I was supposed to be going to meet, it turns out that they hadn't recieved my last email confirming the interview and they were now too busy....
Hmmm...what to do now? I was really looking forward to doing the interview as I am not the most confident person in the world, and I thought by doing this, I would test myself, just take a deep breath and face the challenge.
But fear not, I will get my interview! There is always a plan b...
I was supposed to be going to London on Thursday to interview somebody for the uni paper, but I just got that feeling that something about it didn't seem quite right. When I got in touch with the person I was supposed to be going to meet, it turns out that they hadn't recieved my last email confirming the interview and they were now too busy....
Hmmm...what to do now? I was really looking forward to doing the interview as I am not the most confident person in the world, and I thought by doing this, I would test myself, just take a deep breath and face the challenge.
But fear not, I will get my interview! There is always a plan b...
Sunday 8 February 2009
eeee scary
Right, this is the first time I have done this blogging malarky so bear with me. I'm not really sure if I am writing this to be one of the cool kids, or just to see how it goes....
I'm not one for sharing my inner most thoughts with the world, so it's a bit weird me even being on here.
But hey, you gotta try these things eh?
I'm not one for sharing my inner most thoughts with the world, so it's a bit weird me even being on here.
But hey, you gotta try these things eh?
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